My name is Xanthe Wyse. I changed my name legally after my former name became a trauma trigger.
I am diagnosed bipolar disorder (type 1 which has full mania, rapid cycling on meds), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder. Diagnosed by psychologists and psychiatrists. Pyschiatrists in 2 countries diagnosed me with bipolar disorder.
Yet, some trolls and flying monkeys accuse me of being an actress. I am an actress to the extent of hiding how much the struggle is. It gets to a point where it’s too exhausting to hide it anymore. A flying monkey lying on behalf of my ex even saw me in hospital when I was very frightened and distressed in a breakdown, yet now calls me an actress. No one stays in a psych ward for 2 months unless it’s very serious. I don’t recommend the places either – was an awful experience. The chapter, Nut House in my novel Pet Purpose is nearly full memoir.
I just got accused of acting bipolar and PTSD to sell a book. That I must have gleaned enough information with mental health awareness. Over half my book is what bipolar and PTSD is like from the inside. No one knows this stuff to the degree and detail without having experienced it.
I was actually in denial of the bipolar diagnosis. I believed I was on the autism spectrum instead. Clinicians have messed me around on this saying yes, no, maybe. Nothing is done about an ASD diagnosis in New Zealand anyway.
I wrote Pet Purpose as a very difficult project (with a scrambled brain) to give myself a purpose to stay alive. I also set a ridiculous goal of an art exhibition. I had two.
I have made over 500 unedited, improvised videos which show aspects of my diagnoses. Video some aspects that writing can’t. The viewer can see aspects of my diagnoses, despise meds and therapy. The older videos, where I am thinner were off meds and in denial of my diagnoses.
I would ask to anyone who accuses me of acting. Where is my acting award? Where is my writing award for my authentic portrayal of bipolar and PTSD? (5-star reviews on Amazon by people internationally who share my diagnoses?). Why would I live in a hostel? Why wouldn’t I just work fulltime? I was trained as a high school teacher (that did involve some acting – it was exhausting).
And why can’t I sell a book I worked hard on for years? If anyone could write a book like this and NOT have bipolar and PTSD, then it would also be a credit to them.
Pet Purpose: Your Unspoken Voice is a pet-themed novel with a character navigating love and loss.
“This book is one of the most honest and open books I have ever read describing life with bipolar and PTSD. I was inspired by the main character’s strength. This book is most certainly a page turner.” (extract of review from reader from the UK).
Why would anyone act this full time? When Anne Hathaway, who has won acting awards, said portraying a character with bipolar disorder over a period of 3 weeks was one of the most challenging in her career?