My name is Xanthe Wyse. Diagnosed bipolar disorder (type 1), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder.
Currently in elevated mood (some mixed features). I think I am currently in the upper end of a hypomania episode on verge of mania at times. I can look relatively calm outwardly (shutdown emotions with PTSD) but I am actually struggling currently. Hypomania is elevated mood but not full mania. Mixed features is having some symptoms of depression at the same time.
I try to describe what is going on with some indicators of elevated mood. Some of it has overlap with ADHD. My mood was irritable in yesterday’s video and more euphoric in other recent videos.
Some indicators for me of elevated mood (mania, hypomania):
– excessive use of social media and difficulty breaking away
– difficulty with basic self-care (eat, shower etc)
– feeling hot, sweating more
– more brain fog and cognitive impairments
– messier, bigger handwriting and unable to write full sentences (I find it easier to write with felt pens when elevated – use symbolic colours)
– tend to hyperfocus on something and not be able to focus on anything else
– messier room, messier desk, messier writing
– migraine (with mixed episodes or mood crashing)
– tend to wear nail polish only when my mood is elevated
– more fidgeting/tics/stims
– more interested in drama, winding people up etc
– less of a filter & more impulsive – say what I think
– piss people off more
– less sleep (6 h or less hypomania, 2 h or less mania, on meds)
– surge in libido and able to orgasm for over an hour after not being able to (side effect meds suppresses)
– more likely to experience intense emotions including anger
– swear more
Also talk about venting feelings and not naming people publicly.
My legal name was originally my blogging name. Start of me having a voice for the vulnerable.