Breast Cancer surgery (panicked waking up, narcosis & ptsd )

date: 22-04-2021
I just got out of surgery. I dont feel that much pain. But I got an extreme anxiety attack, I cried and begged for help. I have chronically PTSD, and fear for abrupt loud noises. I’ve had therapy and emdr for years. After surgery everyone gets taken to a sleeping room outside the surgery rooms, located just around the corner where all surgeries are taken place. It’s also the room for preparation before surgery, many beds with people are lined up close to each other, lot of hectic noises, sounds, screaming and talking. I was still in a ‘very deep heavy sleep and half under narcoses’. I could hear very loud screams next to me and someone talking loud.
It woke me up abruptly in an extreme anxiety panic and being very dizzy. I didn’t know where I was for 5 minutes, asking where I was and begging for the noises to go away. I didn’t get any respons at all. The panic hit me hard, but I couldn’t escape. Because I got woken up so abruptly by the noice, stressed out and confused trying to understand where I was. It was so extremely scary and traumatic. I cried and asked to get me out of the noise, every sound is registered so loud in my brain. I cried for help, for anyone to assist me and tell me where I was. It was terrifying. Until i heard a female voice say, that there’s nothing we can do. The panic got worse and worse and she left in the meantime. I didn’t have my glasses on and I was very dizzy. Looking for a button to call for help. I kept seeing people in blue (nurses walking) and I cried please help me and understand my situation. Later a Male nurse came. I explained I got woken up abruptly by the noise and a woman next to me, close to my bed screaming from the top of her lungs and the nurse trying to calm her, talking loud because the woman in bed didn’t have her hearing aid. Every little noise, is so loud…I felt attacked. I cried and cried. I kept trying to explain and to take me up stairs to my room where it’s very quiet. Now back in my room, the quietude feels like I can breath again. I’m still very jumpy and need to calm down. However I feel little pain and that’s good.! The doctor that operated me came in for a sec to check up on me. She is super sweet and did a great job doing the operation. On to the next step, recovery, lasser therapy and of course continue immunotherapy via IV until the end of the year. Also I like to thank each and one of you for the immense support and love I got for the previous post. I will try my best to take the time in the next days to reply to you all. Thank you♡

Source: Youtube