Dear John Letter Eleven: Dear Chronically Negative People,

#artfulaspie #autism #arttherapy
The painting behind me is titled ‘Born In Captivity’, which refers to being born with an Autism Spectrum Disorder complicated with complicated Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. The idea came about because my psychologist said I often spoke about the hurt and confusion caused by a couple of people in my past and he suggested I paint a picture about it. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) occurs when intrusive thoughts become uncontrollable. April being International Autism Awareness Month and so, I divided the original sketch into four in my workbook, then painted the canvas over four videos: Alexithymia, My University Experience, Solitary Man, and Chronically Negative People. The stretched canvas is 127cms square and I am using acrylic paint which is being built up in layers. It is a dark painting. The blue figure is me and the over-bearing figure represents some crazymakers whom have had their piece of flesh. The animals are taken from my past ceramic practice. Unfortunately, it is common for people on the Autism Spectrum to collect the comorbidity of cPTSD (complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) because we do not understand the dynamics of bullies, narcissistic people, or crazymakers well enough to let go of negativity. Friendly people are welcome, but not only on their terms. That becomes the issue with Aspies, be aware that they are self-contained, and intrusion is not welcome.

This playlist of videos is like Dear John letters where I leave something or someone behind. A cathartic attempt to eliminate the bad, ugly, and mean out of my life. Or attempt to explain it. Unfortunately, I cannot find a lot of humour in my time, but sometimes situations are so stupid they are funny. Because of emotional and physical abuse, I have formed deep scarified tracks in my brain. Frankly, I find much of the world of people insensitive and cruel. Even people who claim to be caring or interested never seem to give me the space I need to develop. Or worse keep me around for their own agendas. However, sometimes directly confronting some abusers is not only impossible but unwise. So, this method is as good as it can get. This world demands too much action when like a cat I just need some acknowledgement without too many demands. So here is a series of short read aloud Letters Not Sent scripts which describes my life on the autism spectrum and the comorbidities resulting from just too much abuse. If you bear with me, I promise to not bore you too much and perhaps like me you are survivors in this tough world. Thank you for coming with me and perhaps not being one of the overbearing types that have an opinion on everything. All the stories or sentiments expressed are true and pruned to their bones. So, here is a life. Maybe they will help others who understand that life does not follow a perfect set of rules. Thank you for listening.

Music with Thanks:
Burt’s Requiem by Alexander Nakarada |
Music promoted by Attribution 4.0 International (CC BY 4.0)

Source: Youtube