I recorded some short videos about an uncomfortable topic for me – sexuality. I have bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. The PTSD is mainly from sexual trauma (sexual abuse as a child and rape as an adult) and I have mainly the shut-down presentation. So the trauma stayed locked inside and never was expressed – until I had bipolar mania episodes and experienced hypersexuality.
I was so shut down that I was unable to orgasm for many years not experience intense emotions such as anger. When I finally figured out how to orgasm in mania, I experienced an intense physical release plus an intense emotional release. I’d have uncontrollable laughing or crying (but crying that made me feel better).
I also was able to get a similar kind of emotional release via art and writing when I was in mood episodes. It was part of processing trauma for me.
It is difficult to orgasm now on the bipolar medication which shuts things down to try to prevent mania. Apparently, this is a common side-effect of bipolar medications.