Grounded bipolar, processing sad emotions, shutdown emotion, PTSD.

My name is Xanthe Wyse. Diagnosed bipolar 1 disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

If compare this to video this morning, will see a big contrast. I have had elevated mood for weeks, processing something intense (name change). Listened to upbeat music all day when worked then went to the gym. I thought I had taken my evening meds before making this video, but turns out I hadn’t. So wasn’t sedated yet felt like it.

Song that has been earworm all day though is Bring Me to Life (Evanescence) which to me is a song about depression and desperation.

I changed the teal nail polish to blue by painting another colour over the top. Colours have symbolism for me.

I knew I was sad but was avoiding the sadness. But then felt it. But not completely overwhelmed. It was cathartic to shed some tears. Still some residual grief mainly. Managed to avoid a huge, drastic and very distressing mood crash. This was actually very gentle compared to other times when come down from the elevated moods.

Friendships can be hard to let go of. Some triggers. Triggers are less intense than they were after a LOT of processing (mainly through creative expression).

Source: Youtube