My name is Xanthe Wyse.
Diagnosed bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. I am on minimal medication, despite being severely affected, as I cannot tolerate being zombified. I am unable to do anything at all in a zombified state.
In a nutshell, the elevated and low moods with bipolar and PTSD are extreme energy shifts. Very high energy, very low energy.
Mood is elevated in this video. Improvised dance is one way I discharge the energy (plus getting moving is always helpful too). After a walk, including dance-walking, I made myself some gluten-free pancakes, listening to music and dancing.
I finished with this 1980s song by Duran Duran – ‘I don’t want your love.’ I didn’t play the song out as it would get removed for copyright. I listen to whatever song fits my mood. I lip synced some of the lyrics that I could remember. Some of the lyrics stood out especially, so I have noted them in my journal after I finished listening to music (linked to themes I am processing).
If I listen to music excessively (more than 2 hours per day), it can be an indication my mood is elevated and I am trying to avoid extreme anxiety.
The elevation of my mood in this video is consistent with what clinicians call ‘hypomania’ which is not full mania. I am in control of it still. Discharging the energy helps to avoid lots of anxiety. The energy needs to go somewhere and improvised dancing is a fun way. I also do the exact same thing while walking.
It doesn’t matter if my dancing isn’t ‘cool’ to others. I enjoy doing it and it’s a form of expression. I would rather improvise as I feel freer. Moderate exercise helps me to manage. Excessive exercise or no exercise are indicators that things are out of balance.