Besides being a person with Autism, I deal with complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (cPTSD) due to events caused by others, including my parents, that has damaged me.
Trauma is an intense incident like a stabbing, a bashing, or homelessness – events I have experienced. Recovery is never the issue with trauma as it seldom leaves, rather living with the wounds is – forget the peaceful mind & settle for coping as well as one can with little victories. Emotions become unstable; there is no set of exact reactions – but I am not always known as a peaceful person – I am as they say complicated! I refuse to be totally absorbed in the trials and tribulations of others because we all suffer. Not because I do not care but because few give me any time. It affects me in all sorts of ways: disturbed sleep, disturbed relationships, and my tolerance of others.
Often I wonder why I should continue, then I remember I have responsibilities and I am an observer of this curious event called life. I use creativity to see around my intrusive thoughts, I can imagine something better—although it requires a lot of self-trust.
I am training in EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) which I hope will help. Something positive to move forward to – I will let you know.
Music with Thanks:
Emotional Piano Improvisation by Alexander Nakarada | https://www.serpentsoundstudios.com
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