My name is Xanthe Wyse.
This video was during a mania episode in 2017 when I was off medications (and lost weight with increased anxiety plus removing the side effects of the meds).
I am more confident, make more ‘eye contact’ with the camera, talk fast (pressure of speech). I am still insisting I am autistic but don’t have bipolar.
I correctly though said that I have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which was finally officially diagnosed a year after this video was made. 2 psychologists said I have had PTSD for over 40 years.
An assessment for Autism Spectrum Disorder by a psychologist did not support a diagnosis of ASD. Instead, agreed with psychiatrists a diagnosis of bipolar 1 disorder. Also diagnosed PTSD and social anxiety disorder (more severe as child). Historical diagnoses major depressive disorder (treatment resistant) and generalised anxiety disorder.
Ironically, I keep getting told by dozens of people that I must be autistic.
Less of a filter when mood elevated. I think though I am very insightful. I worked out ways to process the trauma and still use a lot of those ways, even though now seeing a trauma psychologist.
My mania is mostly calm looking from the outside, apart from talking a lot (contrast from being very quiet). Emotions shutdown with PTSD. I already know I had shutdowns.
I am now on minimal meds as a compromise as don’t want to fully suppress the bipolar as trauma processing takes place during mood shifts plus I don’t want to be overmedicated until I feel like a zombie.
This video was recorded around the time I did the creative trauma processing which has been made into a compilation showing elevation into mania. The video that currently over 18,000 videos.
The talking fast is called pressure of speech. The leaping from topic to topic is called flight of ideas. I make more ‘eye contact’ with the camera when mood elevated. Have been diagnosed with the shutdown presentation of PTSD so intense emotions usually shut down.
Watching this video back, I would still agree with most of what I said.
What do you think? Insightful or completely crazy?