Messy creative expression to process trauma. Mixed mood bipolar disorder. Part 1

My name is Xanthe Wyse. Diagnosed bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder.

In this video I am ‘tired but wired’ and very scattered with my thinking. Which happens to me a lot. Similar to ADHD I think when I am in mood episodes. My short-term memory is practically non-existent in these states and I am going off on lots of tangents and easily distracted.

Been a self-care day today. Had a bath before this video. Sleep crash afterwards. Then gentle walk watching the sunset. Tried to remember to eat (forget when in this mood).

Showing the rough painting that made as a prop for a video I want to record hitting the laptop with the sledghammer a few times.

Both paintings say ‘Speak’ – one with symbolism (Segno plus a peak), one with word speak made higher contrast to stand out.

One painting is rearranged words as pieces from the song Renegade Fighter (Zed). Processing name change for me. Changed when was a trigger. Six years later after lots of processing, I can say my former name.

Source: Youtube