NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: How Do We Get Back to Emotional Regulation?


The more I learn about narcissism and narcissistic abuse, the more I realize how much my experience of being emotionally and psychologically abused in that relationship (and really all through my childhood as well) has affected me, and how many others are out there who’re in the same place. We’re all looking for answers.

DISCLAIMER: I am not a mental health professional. I’m a mature woman with adult children who recently suffered from great emotional and psychological abuse at the hands of a covert narcissist. After discovering my attraction to him was due to my own childhood traumas, I decided to do some research. The videos I produce are a result of my experiences and research. My hope is that there’s something here for you to resonate with, something that might be helpful, something that could make you feel some sense of relief in the knowledge that you aren’t alone if you’re going through something similar.

Let me just say that the most important thing to begin healing is to isolate yourself from the abuser. You will need to be out of the relationship in order to heal from it. The narcissistic or toxic person’s influence will hinder you if they’re still in your life. If you’re currently suffering emotional abuse from a toxic person, please know that you’re not alone. You will need support and guidance to begin healing from the extensive emotional and psychological damage that has been done to you. Seek support in many ways.

Due to the emotional havoc the narcissist causes to our mind, we become easily brainwashed or programmed to their reality. We simply become addicted to the stages of abuse; with the great love infiltrating only as necessary to keep us hooked. The insanity of living in the reality of the narcissist will cause extreme emotional dysregulation, we will begin doubting ourselves and our own reality. These are not just words, my friends. If you’re anything like me, a sensitive, compassionate person; and you suffered emotional and psychological abuse from a narcissist or other toxic person at any time in your life, you have then suffered ongoing trauma. Your emotions will easily overwhelm you.

Please take this seriously: When you’ve grown up in adverse childhood environments, if you’ve felt trapped in an abusive relationship where you were tortured emotionally, you will have been in survival mode of fight / flight / fright / freeze / fade. When you feel stuck in an invisible torture chamber, where you have been reduced to being in a child-like state, where you can’t escape . . . then you most probably could be suffering from symptoms of CPTSD/R – Chronic Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or Response – this is a direct response to what you went through. This is what all of the mental health professionals have been talking about on YouTube and tv.

Not to minimize what’s going on in the world right now, but to bring this subject into today’s thinking . . . NARCISSISM is its own pandemic that we’ve been concerned with now for years. Those of us who have been in a relationship with a narcissist, and we quite possibly grew up with a narcissistic parent, will be having challenges regulating our emotions. It’s almost as if that experience, and what it did to our brain functioning, has thrown us back into an emotional immaturity, where we just can’t trust our own intuition. Now, that’s an interesting outcome I didn’t realize until recently. My INTUITION had been messed up.

I’ve doubted my gut instinct since getting away from that narc. The reason for all this doubting ourselves is directly connected to the emotional and psychological abuse we endured. Chances are you also suffer from emotional flashbacks, like me. It happens all day long, although this experience has eased up a bit in the months post-narc.

So, what do we need to do to get back our emotional regulation / our emotional maturity – what we used to know about trusting our intuition / our gut response, so that we can feel more emotionally literate?

Learn to Identify the Types of Triggers that lead to Flashbacks.
Cultivate Friendships / Therapeutic Intervention / Support
Listen to your Body
Learn to Trust Communication
Re-Kindling your own Intuition
Figure out what the Flashbacks are all About
Be Patient with the Recovery Process

Be patient and kind to yourself. Know that it took time for someone to manipulate your mind, cause emotional and psychological damage to you to the point that you doubted your own intuition and ability to manage your emotions. It will take time and devotion to not only undo what’s been done, but to emerge a stronger more emotionally regulated individual.

Beautiful Daisies from my bathroom.

Source: Youtube