Painting memorial rock – processing grief & trauma with low mood & PTSD – part 1

My name is Xanthe Wyse. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, social anxiety disorder.

My PTSD & social anxiety were triggered when someone I didn’t know on a bipolar support group called my processing videos ‘stupid’. Have since found out that they had attacked other people in another group and the admin swiftly banned them.

Had this person said ‘odd’ or ‘weird’ or ‘peculiar’ I probably wouldn’t have been triggered.

I plunged into a low mood and I used to continue painting a memorial rock for an online friend whose son died. In doing so, I was also processing my own grief and trauma.

So I process with the mood shifts. High energy mood states (mania/hypomania) and low energy mood states (depression). You may notice in this video that I am moving slower and moving less than other videos with high energy. Moving slower from the low mood, partially shutting down and also sedating effects of my evening bipolar meds.

Also see part 2 with completing the rock painting.

Source: Youtube