My name is Xanthe Wyse. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder.
I may look relatively calm on the outside with the video, but my hyperarousal internally is elevated. This is how PTSD can affect me. I am caught between shutdown and hyperarousal here (which turns into anxiety if I don’t do anything to manage it).
My hyperarousal is up in this video as I am processing talking about a topic I haven’t gone into in any depth yet as it is so triggering for me. I swear a lot and am critical of religious extremism, control, abuse. It is very triggering for me as it is linked very closely to the abuse involved as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and later rape as an adult.
My experience of religious extremism (pentecostal evangelical christianity) was indoctrination of fear. It definitely feeds into my PTSD & anxiety. I didn’t talk about all aspects as it was so triggering.
I see pastors of megachurches exploiting vulnerable people to live celebrity type lifestyles are charlatons and con-artists and irrelevant (just as I see celebrities are irrelevant).
I may be vulnerable to hyper-religiosity when I’m very unwell with bipolar disorder (mania episode).
For me, creative expression is a form of spirituality.
The end of the video cut off, sorry.