My name is Xanthe Wyse. This video is from a bipolar mania episode 3 years ago. I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Music and movement to music helped me cope with the extreme anxiety plus it helped me process the trauma and express what I couldn’t feel (because I shut down the emotions so extremely with PTSD).
In this video, I want to ‘feel’ (listening to Feel by Robbie Williams). I usually don’t feel intense emotions, I feel the hyperarousal instead which can be an extreme energy. Dancing helps discharge it. I got triggered though and suddenly nearly fainted so I went to the floor until I recovered.
I did fighting style moves. The fight I had but was unable to move because I was frozen with trauma. I have the shutdown presentation of PTSD so I ‘freeze’ more often than ‘fight’ or ‘flight’.
I felt euphoric when I was singing ‘Stronger’. I was not singing in tune because I was immersed in the music.
Some people call this ‘stim-dancing’ – repetitive motions to music. I just see it was improvised dance.