Shutdown, dissociating, overwhelmed, mood crashing

My name is Xanthe Wyse. Diagnosed bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder.

Today was a rough day. Shutdown, mood crash, quit job, then my newly published, novel, Pet Purpose arrived.

I was dissociating and avoiding before recorded. Felt cold with shutdown. Then mood crash. I recorded three videos with some processing I did during it. Which I forget again afterwards, hence write some notes after I made the raw videos, which I will forget.

It’s some of the ways my disabilities affect me.

Some clinicians try to say this is all bipolar. My psychologist acknowledges that I experience bipolar and PTSD tangled together, and I might not have developed bipolar without the trauma.

Mood crashes are very stressful, but they get out some of the emotion I shut down.

Source: Youtube