Synchronicity painting in progress. Sedated mania with PTSD. Painting is meditation for me.

My name is Xanthe Wyse. I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, social anxiety disorder.

Past few weeks, my mood has been elevated (starting with increased anxiety). Have been hypomanic. Past few days been having mania symptoms. Have a temporary meds adjustment including heavy sedation to sleep but I still can’t sleep. The sedation is much more potent than sleeping pills yet I can’t sleep. It’s after 6am now. I am definitely in no state to operate a motor vehicle.

So I have been doing some painting while listening to Duran Duran songs on a loop. It is like an active meditation for me.

This painting is called Synchronicity. I had difficulty writing the black at the beginning as an introduction as my brain is sleepy but won’t switch off. I was too sedated to speak.

I quickly showed you my mania writing – bright colours & messy. The more intense the mania, the messier it gets. The coloured writing was when more alert (less sedated).

I have the shutdown presentation of PTSD so I can seem calm outwardly in mania.

I am adding transparent glazes with acrylics and gel medium (so is like layers of coloured stained glass). I improvise listening to music that fits the theme and my mood. I use Atelier Interactive paints for the colours.

Source: Youtube