My name is Xanthe Wyse. Diagnosed bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
This short video was recorded in 2017 when psychiatrist still trying to get my bipolar meds right. Very vulnerable. In 2017, I had extreme mania for months, then rapid cycling mania and severe depression.
This video was very hard to watch back, as I was struggling so much to stay alive. It was literally day by day. I was still on a waiting list for an ASD assessment (they decided autistic like traits but not enough for autism & better explained by bipolar 1, PTSD, social anxiety disorder).
Struggling with bipolar, trauma and side effects of meds in this video. Was on a long waiting list to see a trauma psychologist. I put this up to show some of how it was like for me. Heavily sedated, severely impaired cognition, very vulnerable. Meds weren’t helping much. Took months to come to an acceptable compromise.
Listened to music and painted to ease my anxiety and to calm my racing mind despite the sedation from the meds.
At this time, my psychiatrist admitted he was trying to keep me alive as I was so severely unwell.