Tag Archives: shutdown

Shutdown – can't think, can't feel, struggle to speak. PTSD, exhausted, bipolar, sedation meds.

My name is Xanthe Wyse. This short video was extremely difficult to make (to actually press record etc) as in a shutdown last night. It was very, very hard for me to say any words at all – mammoth physical effort but I said a few words after many attempts to move my mouth. I… Read More »

Mood crash bipolar, PTSD. Processing sadness.

My name is Xanthe Wyse. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (type 1) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Childhood presentation of PTSD with mainly avoidance and shutdowns. Including avoiding and shutting down intense emotions. I have been in an elevated mood (hypomania & sometimes touching on mania) this past week, some of which I… Read More »

Releasing emotion shutdown from trauma. PTSD, dissociation, shutdown.

My name is Xanthe Wyse & I have been going through the process of having a second art as therapy exhibition called Speak. This is a very big personal project for me and it is stressful. I shut down today (I have mainly avoidance and shutdowns with PTSD) and nearly fainted. I am wrapped in… Read More »

Name change with trauma, processing with music, dissociation PTSD

My name is Xanthe Wyse, a name I chose for myself and was the start of me having a voice. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder. Nearly all of my trauma processing has involved listening to songs that are linked in some way with their lyrics, mood etc. I listen… Read More »

Slower processing, distracted PTSD, bipolar. Social media trolls.

My name is Xanthe Wyse. Diagnosed bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder. I have uploaded videos in different mood states to show some contrasts. In this video, my mood feels ‘okay’ but I am having trouble thinking and processing. My processing is slowing right down, with big pauses. I am not actually… Read More »

Processing shutdown and low mood. Bipolar, depression, trauma, grief – part 1.

My name is Xanthe Wyse. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). I didn’t want to record this video but I did and I feel like I processing something both recording it & watching it back, even though I am still low in energy. Sometimes I record and don’t upload.… Read More »

Imperfection is beautiful. Music reaches emotions shut down by trauma.

My name is Xanthe Wyse & I have been diagnosed with complex trauma (bipolar 1 disorder & post-traumatic stress disorder – PTSD). Also still mildly affected by social anxiety disorder which was severe when I was younger. In this video I sang Rainbow Connection after doing a run through on my own singing along to… Read More »

Improvising art with music to process trauma and emotions. PTSD, bipolar.

My name is Xanthe Wyse & I vlog about mental health and my creative process. In this video, I am now out of being nearly fully shutdown (which I showed some of in recent videos) and am back to my ‘normal’ (after migraines also). My brain is happily making links and connections and I feel… Read More »

Let go of guilt & shame. It's okay to be productive. It's okay to rest. Self-care for mental health.

My name is Xanthe Wyse and I am an independent self-advocate for mental health. I am partially shutdown and partially dissociating in this video from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) but I decided to make one anyway, so you can see what it looks like (previous video was even more shut down). When fully shut down,… Read More »

PTSD. Processing anger without feeling the emotion of anger. Post-traumatic stress disorder.

My name is Xanthe Wyse. I have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (type 1) & post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). My presentation of PTSD is mainly avoidance and shutdowns. Including shutting down intense emotions, especially anger as intense emotions are triggering for me. I am seeing a trauma psychologist finally for PTSD I have had for… Read More »

Some ways I process stuck emotions from grief and trauma

Following from my videos about some of my experiences in a ‘mental health unit’ (psychiatric hospital). I have been diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD – mainly shutdown presentation), social anxiety disorder. I do some processing talking on video and also watching them back. Talking on video is facing my fears of… Read More »